The Importance of Manipulation

July 20th, 2018jm@ownhope.org0 Comments

Manipulation is necessary. I usually get weird looks from clients when I say that and I can understand why. It has such a nasty connotation. As a culture, we focus on one meaning: “the action of manipulating someone in a clever or unscrupulous way.” but there is another: “the action of manipulating something in a skillful manner.” Link (in case you don’t believe me) We are all manipulative. From the minute we are born, we manipulate. We quickly learn that when we cry parents meet our needs and parents in meeting our needs cause us to stop crying. If not …

Drive the Feeling

July 13th, 2018jm@ownhope.org0 Comments

Most of us tend to think about emotions as either good or bad, positive or negative but every emotion can be helpful and destructive. One goal of DBT and CBT is to help folks use emotions more effectively; to understand the purpose of each emotion and to decide how to use emotions (if at all) in achieving our objectives. One important step is to determine whether the context or situation reasonably connect to the feeling. If they do, then we work towards figuring out how to abide by the emotion effectively. If they don’t then we act opposite the emotion. …

Of Monkey Bridges and Bánh Mì Sandwiches: from Sài Gòn to Texas

July 9th, 2018jm@ownhope.org0 Comments

I am not a “book recommender” in my practice, I have a core of books I suggest if clients ask – three of them are CBT or DBT workbooks, the other is Night by Elie Wiesel (yes many folks have still not read that book). I recommend “Night” because it is a powerful demonstration of “Meaning” within DBT’s IMPROVE skill and a source for “Comparison” in ACCEPTS. Well, another book made the list for the same reasons – “Of Monkey Bridges and Bánh Mì Sandwiches: from Sài Gòn to Texas” by Oanh Ngo Usadi. The book is a personal account …

Get your Greek on…

July 7th, 2018jm@ownhope.org0 Comments

Did you know that much of CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) is based on the work of the Athenian philosophers (Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle)? One common skill taught in CBT is Socratic questions which can be used as a means of stepping away from our initial (and provocative) interpretation of an event and coming to a more reasonable conclusion. Socratic reasoning takes a conclusion (or anything really) and begins with a process of asking open-ended questions. This can be helpful when we are struggling with depression or anxiety because we are more likely to come to the worst possible meaning of …

States of Mind is on the agenda for today….

July 2nd, 2018jm@ownhope.org0 Comments

I do a pretty cool Star War’s analogy for this if I do say so myself.

Four Choices

June 30th, 2018jm@ownhope.org0 Comments

DBT presents us with four choices when faced with a painful situation, we tend to be really aware of two (changing the harmful situation, staying miserable) but not so aware of the others. To illustrate the four choices, let’s take the example of a difficult situation at work. In this scenario, let’s imagine you’re boss engages in small talk with your co-workers, takes them out to lunch, etc. and barely gives you a nod in the morning. Our choices may play out in the following manner: (1) Change the Situation- This would involve different strategies including, taking initiative and starting …

Self-Validation

June 28th, 2018jm@ownhope.org0 Comments

DBT and CBT are both pretty big on changing how you think as a way of changing how you feel. Both recognize cognitive distortions which are faulty patterns of thinking that develop during periods of distress and/or can act as a catalyst for distress. One component of both therapies involves helping folks change their thinking habits so they are less vulnerable to high levels of distress and are less prone to engaging in ineffective behaviors. One way to challenge ineffective thinking is to engage in self-validation. There are six levels of validation, for this post we’re going to focus on …

EMDR – it really isn’t that mysterious.

June 26th, 2018jm@ownhope.org0 Comments

The goal of EMDR is for an individual to feel no distress or the least amount of distress possible when confronted with a traumatic memory, thought or prompting event. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is still the subject of some controversy despite being recognized by the World Health Organization and the United States Veterans Affairs, Center for PTSD as one of three strongly recommended, evidence based models of care for PTSD. EMDR uses many of the same techniques as other therapies including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. EMDR simply repackages what’s always been done in a way that is contained in …

Dr. Violina Frenkel Explains TMS

June 25th, 2018jm@ownhope.org0 Comments

I am very pleased to share an interview that Dr. Frenkel gave Jersey Matters on TMS, a relatively new option in the treatment of depression. She is an excellent psychiatrist I could not recommend highly enough – I thought so highly of her work with patients, I moved my practice into her suite! Link to Dr. Frenkel’s practice – https://ibcnj.com/

Nightmares

June 24th, 2018jm@ownhope.org0 Comments

Nightmares are not something you may have to live with. There are both pharmacological and psychotherapeutic options that may help reduce nightmares. The DBT and CBT protocols involve a combination of relaxation exercises, writing the nightmare out (with a different ending) and imagining the nightmare (with the new ending) before sleep and throughout the day. If the nightmares are related to PTSD or a trauma event an additional option includes EMDR which is specifically designed to help those with traumatic memories eliminate or reduce the distress associated with the memories and change their thinking about the trauma. CBT and DBT …