Make Decisions Like a Ninja

September 17th, 2018jm@ownhope.org0 Comments

Decision making can be difficult when we’re struggling with a strong emotion and can be problematic when we’re coping with depression and anxiety. Pros and Cons is a flexible, easy to use and effective CBT skill that can improve our decision-making skills and increase confidence when making decisions. Pros and Cons can be helpful in the following areas: 1. Distress Tolerance: Comparing the Maladaptive coping mechanism to the Adaptive Coping Mechanism 2. Life Skills (exercise, medication compliance, eating well): Comparing, for example, Working Out v. Netflix. 3. Social Anxiety: Comparing Avoiding a Social Event v. Attending 4. Depression: Getting out of …

Loneliness. There’s a skill for that.

August 7th, 2018jm@ownhope.org0 Comments

We are becoming lonelier and it’s hurting us. 1 This might come as a relief, you probably thought you were the only person without close friends. You’re not and there are plenty of reasons for it. One reason is the changing labor market.2 We have moved away from a manufacturing economy, most of us are in either a service profession or a professional environment. Both make it more difficult to create and maintain substantial relationships. We are constantly working as individuals serving other individuals or solving problems. Work environments have become more competitive, we are moving from one job to …

The Importance of Manipulation

July 20th, 2018jm@ownhope.org0 Comments

Manipulation is necessary. I usually get weird looks from clients when I say that and I can understand why. It has such a nasty connotation. As a culture, we focus on one meaning: “the action of manipulating someone in a clever or unscrupulous way.” but there is another: “the action of manipulating something in a skillful manner.” Link (in case you don’t believe me) We are all manipulative. From the minute we are born, we manipulate. We quickly learn that when we cry parents meet our needs and parents in meeting our needs cause us to stop crying. If not …

Four Choices

June 30th, 2018jm@ownhope.org0 Comments

DBT presents us with four choices when faced with a painful situation, we tend to be really aware of two (changing the harmful situation, staying miserable) but not so aware of the others. To illustrate the four choices, let’s take the example of a difficult situation at work. In this scenario, let’s imagine you’re boss engages in small talk with your co-workers, takes them out to lunch, etc. and barely gives you a nod in the morning. Our choices may play out in the following manner: (1) Change the Situation- This would involve different strategies including, taking initiative and starting …